Some of us are “natural sharers”. I am. When I am happy and excited I want to tell the world. Sad or mad—I feel much better when I’m chatting with a friend who offers me emotional support. Whining or stuck–usually a good friend, mentor, or coach will give me a kick in the ** to get me out of my pity party and move.
One thing I’ve learned over the years is to keep my big dreams and goals very close to my heart and not share them with anyone, at least in the early stages of those dreams. I have 3 reasons…and now there is research to support my secretive behavior.
- Your goal is very tender in these early stages, and so is your motivation. You might be very excited, but that enthusiasm has not yet translated into the daily actions required to achieve your goals. Until behaviors are consistent and you’ve experienced some early successes, it is too easy for someone’s non-supportive comment to derail you.
- The more I talk, the less I do. My mantra…”don’t talk, just walk”. Gets me moving. Action dissolves fear and just those first few minutes of activity gets the momentum rolling.
- I also felt the more I talk about it, the more I receive those “atta-girl” comments on just deciding to do something, it seemed to slow me down. I recently heard this is true, based on research referenced in a TED talk by Derek Sivers, Keep Your Goals to Yourself. He discusses several research studies beginning back in the 1920’s and they found when you share your goal and it’s acknowledged, that good feeling will substitute for actions you should be taking to move you towards your dream.
So, be quiet and treat your dreams gently early on if you want those tender seedlings to grow into strong results.
