When my friend Michelle’s 76-year-old dad decided to take a leap into the river below, he didn’t just impulsively jump. He had his son and daughter check that the water was deep enough, scan for floating debris, and confirm it was safe. He gathered enough data to know his decision was sound—but he still had to take that first step off the edge.
That first step is often the hardest, especially when we’re trying something new or unfamiliar. It’s that moment where desire and fear collide, and we freeze. This is particularly challenging in the second half of life, when that critical inner voice gets louder.
When Fear Masquerades as Wisdom
My inner dialogue used to sound like this: “I should know how to do this by now—I should be wiser, smarter, more competent.” “I can’t possibly start this at my age; what will people think?” “I should have done this years ago when I was younger.”
Sound familiar? Those “shoulds” and “what will people think?” thoughts are just fear wearing a disguise.
Reframing Fear as Excitement
Here’s what changed everything for me: I started labeling that churning feeling as “excitement” instead of anxiety. Unless you’re literally jumping off a cliff, most actions aren’t life-threatening. We can pivot, hit reset, and move forward. Taking even one small action replaces fear and builds confidence for the next step.
Know Your Decision-Making Style
Understanding how you make decisions helps prevent getting stuck or taking unnecessary risks. I’ve observed two main types:
The Researchers (like me) process, analyze, and gather information before acting. Once they decide, they move forward without looking back. The downside? They can get stuck in analysis paralysis and miss opportunities.
The Leapers jump in without extensive planning, then course-correct as needed. They act quickly but may experience regret or self-doubt afterward when things don’t go as hoped.
Both styles have merit. The key is recognizing your tendency and adjusting accordingly.
Four Keys to Taking That First Step
1. Embrace Beginner’s Mind
“If your mind is empty, it is always ready for anything, it is open to everything. In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s mind there are few.” —Shunryu Suzuki
Beginner’s mind means staying open to possibilities, discomfort, and the likelihood that you won’t nail it on the first try. In midlife, this can be especially challenging when you’re used to being competent and successful. Remember: everything has a beginning, and success is rarely a straight line.
2. Start Small
Even tiny steps create momentum. Begin by learning—read articles, watch YouTube videos, or talk with people who’ve succeeded in what interests you. A simple Google search can spark ideas and connect you with resources and communities.
3. Gather Current Information
Subscribe to newsletters in your area of interest. For example, if you love travel, newsletters like Weekend Sherpa offer specific day trip and weekend adventure ideas, while travel experts like Rick Steves provide inspiration for international exploration.
4. Find Your Tribe
Use platforms like Meetup to find local groups with shared interests. There’s no cost to join, and you’ll discover communities for virtually every hobby or passion. If you’re interested in something, chances are others in your area are too. In my 60s, I joined a run/walk group where I was encouraged to run my first marathon, as well as several half marathons. We inspire, support each another, and get together for parties and fun beyond running.
Your Turn
Regardless of whether you’re a researcher or a leaper, these strategies can help you move from wanting to doing. What new adventure is calling to you? What’s the smallest step you could take today?
The water might look deep and uncertain, but like Michelle’s dad, you can gather the information you need—and then take that exhilarating leap.
